You Cheated On Your Partner ~ I am sure, you are not a cheat and if you are reading this, you are reading only to help someone, who has cheated on their partner.
After you have cheated on your partner, the way ahead is not going to be easy, but its the best way to go along.
Doesnt matter, how much you want to change things, you cant. Its already been done. The fact remains, that you are a cheat.
While lots of things depend on your partner, from here on, whatever you do is going to change your life completely.
By cheating your partner you have not only broken their trust in you, but you have damaged your self-respect also. And thats why you feel like changing the past. But, your partner has nothing to do with your guilt feeling right now.
The first thing which has to be done is to identify the reason for your cheating.
There are tons of reasons for cheating. Some people cheat because of specific problems in relationships/marriages. And some people cheat to have the experience of a new taste, adventure, and even for fun.
You might find it tough to figure out that, why did you cheat on your partner. However, this is a good sign that you are being honest to yourself at least. When you are honest with yourself, you will get straight answers to your questions from within. That surely will help you to find out the root reason for your cheating.
Now, once you know the reason, you need to decide, what are you looking for now from your relationship/marriage?
Though, a gentle reminder to you, that the ball is in your partners court and you have very little to do, but still they can ask you the same question. So get ready with your answer. Do you want to continue with your relationship/marriage? If, yes, then how? By cheating again and asking for forgiveness for the second, third, fourth, and more times?
Or, you want to be a clean person by being absolutely loyal to your partner? Are you willing to go out of your marriage/relationship?
These questions are not easy for you to get an answer from yourself. But the answer will only decide which way you want to move, with respect to you and your partner.
And never forget, that what you decided is irrelevant to your partner, so they may not agree at all or even partially with your decision. They might have a completely different idea about your and their future. And you as a cheat will have to wait to know that.
The idea behind getting your decision known to you is only for the conversation which you will soon have with your partner, regarding your cheating. So, you have something clear to tell them.
Now, it’s time to do something for your partner.
Since, by now you know, what exactly you want to do, its time to take some action and do something for your partner.
If you have decided to keep your relationship/marriage going on, then the first thing you need to do is to cut off any relation/contact, with the person you had cheated with. This step will give some confidence to your partner that you are willing to work on things and are looking forward, proving your loyalty to them.
If you want to go for an open relationship/marriage, you already are on the wrong foot. Because you never discussed this with your partner; till you were caught. So you have minimal chances of gaining any respect back from your partner.
You have options if you have decided to end your relationship/marriage.
On the off chance that youve chosen, you need to end your marriage/relationship; you have alternatives here as well. In the event that the other person is somebody you need to proceed with your relationship with, be discrete or placed things on hold until your separation is conclusive. Parading your relationship will just make your separation uglier. Be that as it may, if your relationship with the other person was just how you understood you need separation and thats it, theres no reason to go with it.
You need time and preparation for an honest discussion with your partner.
You need proper preparation for the discussion with your partner. Because, once you go into the conversation, you will realize your hurt and pissed off partner is not ready to hear anything. And if you start to explain your cheating and affair, things will go beyond control.
Being honest with your partner is always good. Its always advised to tell your partner that, you have cheated on them, rather them discovering you cheating. How you want to move from here is irrelevant now. Though telling them about being cheated is the best option for cheats, most of the cheats dont do that.
Plan the place and timing.
Since this type of discussion will take time, you need to make sure that the place and the time of it is a good one and you two wont be disturbed by any third person around. Make sure not to take calls on your mobile, but dont turn it off. Turning off your mobile will unnecessarily make your partner doubtful, and you dont want another chapter here.
Go for a private place or location, where you both are comfortable.
Remember this conversation with your partner will mark the end of your relationship/marriage, as it was
Now, as you are about to convey your decision to your partner, be calm when you speak. Here one major point is to be a good listener also. While you will be telling them what you want and why your partner might interrupt you a thousand times and believe me, the best option for you will be only to let them speak. So, once they are done, and allow you to continue, you can start again. Dont force them to let you complete first. Dont shout and dont argue. Listen to them carefully and pay attention to their words.
Also, Read Signs Your Partner Is Cheating On You
Respond to their questions with all honesty and calmly. They might have tons of questions to ask and you need to answer them without losing your temper. Remember, its you who have cheated on them and its you who wanted to have a conversation.
Since cheating cant be justified, take responsibility for what you have done. Dont try to explain it. Just avoid explaining about your cheating. They already know that you are a cheat. So the best way to make it through is to go direct.
Avoid the conversation getting dragged on; be specific to the points. Mentally you two will be tired and things might turn up ugly if anyone of you starts jumping from the topic and start dragging things. Make sure not to do this from your end, and if your partner does it, dont immediately try to stop them. Let them finish and then explain them
Get Ready For the Long Journey Ahead
Since this is the first time that your partner and you had a conversation regarding your cheating, your partner surely needs time to think and decide about what they want?
You might have many discussions on how to put things back, how to dissolve it, how to move forward with your relationship/marriage. But whatever option you and your partner choose, you will need a great level of clear communication to make your decision a reality.
The entire process is not going to be easy, but you should have thought about this before you cheated them. And this is the only way for you to regain some self-respect and to put the past behind you. The mess was created by you since You Cheated On Your Partner and only you can clean up that.
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