Why Some People Are Unfaithful When They Love Their Partner?
We often tend to see infidelity as a sign that it’s time to end a relationship. And yet: it is not because we no longer love our partner that we can be tempted to look elsewhere.
What could save love? If infidelity is more often considered a betrayal and the end of a love affair, it would be a means of ending a marriage/relationship.
The closed aspect of marriage – or more generally monogamy – can push some people who are quite happy as a couple to cheat on their partner.
Eradicating deception, in romantic relationships can save love and the relationship
Infidelity and change of morals
Today, the search for personal development, equality of the genders, the psychologization of society, and the weakening of morals, mean that adultery has become part of current customs.
There was a time when the woman had to be “respectable” and there was a difference between the one marries and the one with whom one has satisfactory sexual relations.
It was then almost normal to have a mistress. It is the change in the status of women in society, and therefore within the couple that will transform adultery into what is now called: infidelity.
The new sexual practices such as swinging, for example, do not come within the framework of adultery and above all, that there are two dimensions to infidelity: moral and physical.
Indeed, each individual has his own definition of loyalty. For some people, kissing isn’t cheating, but sleeping with another person is.
Others find that imagining cheating on your partner is as bad as actually doing it. Finally, for others, “physical” infidelity (i.e. sleeping with someone else) is much less serious than sentimental infidelity (ie falling in love with another person).
Monogamy has nothing to do with love, and everything with sex. By agreeing to have an exclusive relationship with someone, you are forbidden to have sex with another. And not to have feelings, something we can’t really control.
Chronic infidelity and fidelity of feelings
There is no precise pattern concerning infidelity. It depends first of all on individuals, on their values, on the promises they have made to themselves.
It also depends on whether the infidelity is chronic or if it is unexpected, just the story of one night. “As human beings, we all function in the same way: we seek the satisfaction of our libido impulses, to use Freud’s words”.
When we meet a person who corresponds to us, we enter a more or less long period; it depends on each one, which makes it possible to meet these needs, which are uncontrollable to us.
Also, Read Lessons Learned From Heartaches
When this period ends, each member of the couple operates a return to reality with a resumption of contact with the outside world.
This implies that the libido will be able to shift its investment to other objects. So yes, I sincerely think that seduction, flirtation, the envy of one or another occurs at one or more moments of the couple.
After that, do we give in or not? It is also at this moment that the border between sex and love emerges. We must not throw the stone too quickly and above all ask ourselves if this could have happened to us.
Couple crisis and the strength of love
Obviously, adultery will be the starting point of a couple of crisis which itself will require the partners to question, assess the couple, or even to reorganize, before moving forward together if both wish.
Infidelity poses a real question for both partners, namely: Why did she/he do that? But also why did I let myself go? And there is the stake of the durability of the couple.
This journey is necessary so that the couple can truly recover from the ordeal without unspoken words and hidden emotional wounds.
Is adultery necessarily proof that you no longer love your partner? People think that if you cheat on your spouse, it’s either something’s wrong with the relationship or something’s wrong with us.
In a relationship, if everything is fine, there is no reason to deceive. Some people believe this is false since the perfect relationship or the perfect marriage does not exist. We are not going to look elsewhere because we are looking for someone else.
We are not going to look elsewhere because we are looking for “another” ourselves. It is not so much that we want to leave the person, who we are with.
Everything is not so simple. There are two types of reasoning. At first, yes, going elsewhere can mean disinterest in the current relationship, without necessarily realizing it.
And the end of a couple can be recorded by the infidelity of one or the other. It will serve as an excuse at the end of the started relationship.
Secondly, this is the principle that infidelity can take place without there being the slightest concern in her love life with her partner.
You can try at your end to make sure that your man doesn’t look beyond you and adores & loves you all the way. If that happens, that surely can eliminate the chances of their cheating on you.
You can take help from This AmazingVideo, to learn more. This video has been a great help to lots of people.
Infidelity and self-esteem
If we have seen the impact that adultery can have on the couple and the bond between partners, it is also important to pay attention to the impact on self-esteem.
The one who is going to cheat can again feel desirable, loved, admired by a new person and this feeling can be very pleasant, as much as that of losing all self-confidence after taking the plunge.
And for those who are deceived, it is the same thing; they can feel completely helpless, useless, not up to the task, and lose confidence in themselves or even the reverse.
Getting up from an infidelity
As already specified above, it is obviously possible to recover from infidelity as soon as the two partners agree, and that it is the object of questioning.
In fact, the relationship/marriage may not simply be repaired, but you might come out even stronger than before if you handle it the right way.
If both you and your partner are willing to take the necessary steps to heal from infidelity, it can be done. But it’s going to be a long road, it will take time.
Once again, there is no miracle recipe, we must give hearts and egos time to mend themselves.
Take care of yourself and stay safe!