Why Am I Not Lucky In Love? 8 Possible Causes And Ways To Improve ~
When it comes to finding a partner or when it comes to having lasting relationships, there can be various. problems, one may face
Love life and effective relationships have a paradoxical characteristic: even though they significantly affect our well-being, they are something we have relatively little control over.
That’s why a lot of people wonder why don’t I get lucky in love? Unrequited loves and failures in trying to live a stable relationship can be experienced from a catastrophic, perspective as if we were predestined to unhappiness.
Let’s now see several possible answers to the question “Why Am I Not Lucky In Love“.
At the same time, we will review several tips and recommendations on what to do, whether you are looking for a relationship or if you are in one that goes through its worst moments.
Why am I not lucky in love?
If relationships and marriages are complicated, it’s among other things because there are so many ways they go wrong, or even that they don’t start.
Liking someone to the point where reciprocal love arises and that it results in a stable relationship is a process that requires delicate balances.
Balances maintained between psychological phenomena that are often exclusive to each other: sexual desire against commitment, illusion against discipline to live appropriately, desire to like against honesty, etc.
In any case, if we want to address this issue, we will need to simplify these kinds of problems to make them understandable and relatively easy to solve.
So let’s divide bad luck into love into two parts: problems finding a partner and trouble maintaining loving relationships.
Problems Finding A Partner
Many people who believe they have bad luck in love feel that they have a hard time finding a partner. Let’s see what might be due.
Obsession with finding someone
No one is obliged to have a partner, even though cultural tradition imposes several marriage expectations.
Perhaps, a good part of what makes you think you’re unlucky in love is just that that obsession with finding someone prevents you from taking this process naturally.
On the other hand, feeling bad about not feeling interested in anyone is something completely normal.
Distorted expectations
This does not merely mean having too high expectations regarding what it means to find love. It means, among other things, giving great importance to the idea that there are highs and low expectations in love life.
Those who fall in love do so through an experience that completely changes the perspective of life. It is a qualitative, non-quantitative change, and for it to take place, in many cases, you have to overcome the initial prejudices.
So the trick is to meet new people. With all that, this entails: open up to all kinds of people, beyond labels, and value them for what they do and are.
Communication problems
It’s not all about looking. Someone who wants to attract someone else’s attention (romantically) must master basic social skills principles.
For example, express yourself well, be clear in what is said, not get too mysterious, etc.
- Lack of knowledge of social conventions
It is essential to be aware that there are certain social conventions that, while not governing our relationships, are there.
Having them as a reference is essential to know how others perceive us in the early stages of a conversation (and even before starting them).
Becoming the victim
Sometimes, those who believe they are unlucky in love to enter an infinite loop situation become so pessimistic that it gives others no reason to take an interest in it.
To become the victim as if the others were to give us attention and affection is a severe mistake. The pain we feel may be genuine, and, indeed, we don’t have to hide it, but that doesn’t mean we have to make others always feel guilty.
Of course, trying to feel sorry for it to generate attraction results in effect contrary to the desired one.
Bad luck in love life: Courtships and Marriages
It is also quite possible that bad luck in love will be experienced above all when forming a relationship that lasts and is consolidated from a healthy coexistence among lovers.
In these cases, the problem is not so much to find a partner (although it can also be) but to make these loving bonds hold on in time and not only that: they become reinforced as the months and years pass.
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In this sense, to understand what is going on, it is necessary to consider all the aspects that we have seen so far and the following issues.
The lack of chances of emancipating
Every loving relationship needs time and space to develop. That means it is challenging for the affective bond to be maintained if the possibility of living with essential material resources is not available.
For example, if many years pass, and despite both people’s desires, it is impossible to find a sufficiently affordable floor in which to live, this will wear down the relationship.
Achieving that economic stability is essential, and that is so much about working efficiently, developing our talents, and doing everything possible to make society economically better.
Lack of communication
Communication failures are widespread in relationships. For example, assuming that the other person knows what we are talking about when, in fact, it is not, interpreting specific ambiguous phrases such as taunts or accusations, etc.
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In this regard, we must only practice these social skills and talk together about the most frequent mistakes you make in this area, assuming a proactive and honest attitude and relying on constructive criticism.
Lack of commitment
Having a loving relationship is also a job in which you have to invest time and effort. Having this clear is essential because it would be a mistake to assume that true love is one in which everything flows without trying as little as possible.
Merely considering the needs and interests of the person we love means that efforts must be made to make the relationship a comfortable context for both of us, not just you.
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If almost everything fails, you can always go to couples therapy.
Although even to resort to this, there must be a minimum of commitment; for example, if you have a relationship with a third person outside of courtship or marriage, couples therapy has no future and should not be started.
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