11 Tips for Moving Forward From A Toxic Relationship: Sometimes, we fail to act when we are in a suffocating relationship. Even after knowing that the relationship is toxic, we cant move forward.
Often, the hardest thing to accept about a toxic relationship is to admit that it is unhealthy, precisely.
Many people blame themselves for letting toxic people into their lives.
Yet blaming yourself is never productive.
Understand this: you chose to see the best of that person and appreciated the positive it brought you at some point.
Maybe the couples dynamics have recently changed, which is a problem. Or perhaps your relationship has always been toxic, and you realize it now. In any case, its time to put an end to things.
Breaking with the person you love is never easy But its even harder to let a toxic person go.
You may have avoided warning signs or ignored the warning signs in the hope of making things better. To make them work, to change them. But this rarely happens…
One of the most confusing aspects of a breakup with a toxic person is that its easier to recover from a separation with an adorable and wonderful partner you consider a best friend than to recover from a breakup with an ex who has practically made you unhappy all along.
Why are people who have proved mean, selfish, dishonest, manipulative, and therefore manifestly destructive in all respects sometimes the most difficult to forget?
There are several reasons for the difficulty of the task
One of the main culprits is oxytocin.
Oxytocin is a hormone in your body released during moments of intimacy. For example, when you have sex, you hold your partners hand, kiss each other, or even hug each other.
When oxytocin is released, it leads you to trust your companion more, even when trust is not justified.
This sneaky little hormone is also guilty of fostering bonds, preventing you from leaving your spouse even when you know it is not suitable for you.
In addition to the effect of oxytocin, here are five other things that make it difficult to get out of a toxic relationship:
1. Abuse weakens you emotionally.
Psychological abuse can be devastating for everyone, leaving the individual weak, with no self-esteem, deciding to start another relationship again is tricky to make.
2. This can be life-threatening
Leaving a toxic relationship can be dangerous, leading to all kinds of consequences, even death.
Studies show that, unfortunately, the likelihood of a toxic person killing their ex-girlfriend after she left her is more significant than if she had stayed in the relationship.
3. The belief that things will change
Society leads us to believe that we are weak if we stop before reaching our goal.
In other words, if you are in a toxic relationship, you should try everything before you think about breaking up. The thought also follows this mindset that abuse will eventually stop.
4. The couple’s social pressure
There is always this social pressure from friends and family about the couple. As if being single meant telling the world that something is wrong with us.
This pressure, of course, only makes the situation worse because we would rather be in a lousy relationship than not have a relationship at all.
5. The look of others
It is often difficult to admit to anyone that we are going through a difficult time. People in toxic relationships do not want to admit the abuse they suffer because of the fear or shame of being blamed or judged.
The perverse effects of a breakup with someone toxic Breaking up doesnt mean the relationship ends instantly. Quite the opposite.
When you separate, your emotions and feelings can become even more vital. Even if you are aware that this relationship is problematic, you will fantasize about a second chance, or even more.
And that will only make things worse, like salt on a wound.
This is because toxicity is addictive.
We human beings are addicted to love, and we are also addicted to hope. Whether healthy or not, all relationships are addictive.
And it is difficult to determine when this addiction becomes excessive.
When a relationship becomes chaotic, we dont leave even though we might think about moving away several times in our minds. What for? Because most of the time, we tend to believe that its normal to have a couple of problems. And it is!
But the problem comes when we start lying to each other when we convince ourselves that there are always more ups than lows, when not at all.
Suddenly, the relationship turns into fantasy.
We no longer see the relationship for what it is, and instead, we focus on the past we have left behind. A past where things were better…
Like any other addiction, love can be challenging to eliminate, even with significant adverse side effects such as gaslighting and self-esteem destruction.
It is challenging to face this disappointing truth and realize that the person you thought was the right one will not question everything in your life.
Although you are strongly attracted and emotionally attached to your ex-partner, you have that intuitive feeling and awareness that this relationship brings no positive energy into your life.
But the link is there. Unbreakable, it seems. You feel dependent on him for almost everything, so how will you manage to live without him?
You can do it.
Its hard to accept, but when you realize it doesnt suit you, when you know that the relationship is toxic and unhealthy, letting go will be the best thing to do.
Learning to let go
Moving from being empowered is a small change, but it takes a lot of effort and willpower. It often takes as much energy and strength to stay in a bad relationship as it takes to leave.
With a change in mentality, experience, and expectation, the resources you use to stay can propel you forward!
11 Tips For Moving Forward From A Toxic Relationship
1. Living in the present
The lure of living in the past or the future may be tempting, but the energy to move forward exists by living fully in the present.
To do this, live the relationship as it is, without the need to change or control it. This can be scary, especially if your environment is hostile. But the only way to move on is to feel complete about how broken this thing is.
No relationship is perfect, and all couples argue and get hurt, but the problem arises when you feel obliged to live in the past (or in the future) to tolerate the present.
2. Keep track of what’s going on
Keep track of what you are experiencing in the relationship; good times and bad times. If writing is not your thing, take a picture of your face at the same time each day: you will see it in your eyes.
Set a harvest period (weeks, months) and when the time comes, take a look at those traces you have kept.
Can you see models appear?
What do you notice about things that hurt you and things that do you good? Their frequency? Their intensity? What do you see in the photos? Etc.
This can help you see your experience in the relationship for what it is, stripped of filters that add up over time.
3. Be aware of what is going on in your body as it tries to tell you something
The connection between mind and body is powerful. If you prevent messages that come from your mind from reaching you, your body will take over.
There will be signs in the way you stand, the sensations in your body (heaviness, grief, tension), and how it works in general.
Do you feel slower? Do you feel physical pain? What is the nature of the pain? Are you more tired?
If your body could talk, what would he want you to know?
4. Look at yourself
Notice what youre doing to get away from reality. Do you have specific behaviors to avoid feeling too bad?
Try to immerse yourself in the discomfort you feel rather than prevent it. The pain, wisdom, courage, and strength you need to find the happiest version of yourself and your life
5. Give yourself a deadline
Its easy to forget how long youve been struggling with the relationship. So choose a day. Three weeks, six months, or a year, give the relationship everything you have-one last time.
When the day you have set arrives, be honest and act accordingly: the answer will be clearly in front of you.
6. Think about yourself
The way we describe selfishness is wobbly. Being selfish means recognizing what you need and doing what you can to meet those needs.
Of course, its about balancing your needs with those of others. In a toxic relationship, you forget to take care of yourself so when you start doing so, expect spin-offs from your partner.
But dont forget that there will be some if you keep giving up. So please repeat after me: I count and what I need is essential.
Repeat this mantra every day if possible until it becomes a no-brainer.
Tips For Moving Forward From A Toxic Relationship
7. Be honest about your responsibilities
Can you do anything to get the relationship back on track? What is your share of responsibility for what you are currently experiencing?
It takes a lot of humility to see if we are involved in the toxicity of a relationship, but it is an important step.
Also, Read Why Is The First Love The Hardest?
On the other hand, dont comply with the other persons demands if they order you to do this or that more often: its up to you to decide if really, youll win both or if its just another manipulation.
8. Understand your role in the relationship
Over time, youve probably fallen into a way of living together that makes dysfunction easier and more tolerable: a healthy fit to an unhealthy situation, if you will.
Explore your roles.
Which one of you is the one who is afraid of commitment, who does not communicate, who is the aggressor, the critic, etc. And who is the victim, the powerless, the one who protects, who dreams? Once youve determined your primary role, try to change it.
This will change the dynamics and make the malfunction all the more prominent, and this will help you distance yourself.
9. Stop fantasizing about a relationship
It can be better, its going to change, hes going to understand, …
How many times do you convince yourself of this? Open your eyes to the relationship even if it hurts, even if the ego takes a hit, even if youre scared.
Moving Forward From A Toxic Relationship
The more you fantasize about what might be, the more you will embellish reality and turn it into something acceptable.
This fantasy will persuade you to last a little longer, and you will be the only one who always makes efforts to make it happen.
Accept what is.
The more you can accept where you are, the greater the capacity for change. Accept your reality as it is: your relationship, your partner, and what it means to you.
Because by accepting the truth, you LIVE the truth, and you will have clarity that will propel you forward, no matter what it means to you.
10. Stop looking for excuses
What do you want from this relationship? How different is what you want from what you have? And how long have you been trying to get it?
Even amid a storm, love will continue to emanate from the romantic relationship. A truly loving couple feels safe, safe, and respected, even when tough times.
If it doesnt do you good, it is not love.
11. Rewrite your story
You have to fight for the things you love and believe in, but one of those things has to be you. What would you say to someone you love if they felt the pain you are experiencing?
There is more courage and strength in you than you will ever need. You are a Queen, a warrior, powerful and beautiful, and you deserve to be happy.
But youll have to fight for it. Fight for yourself as you would for everyone you love: fiercely and bravely.
Be aware of all that awaits you from the side outside of this toxic relationship. What would you have done if you had never met this person?
What career would you have pursued? What dreams would you have followed? Where would you have traveled?
Use your dreams of a better as fuel that will help you leave.
Life awaits no one.
Instead of drowning in self-pity and sadness, take your courage with both hands, come up with a plan and go live your best life.
Youre still the same beautiful person you were before this story, and you need to find yourself inside.
The moment you start living your life is the very moment when you will begin to let go.
Please, dont forget to share the post on your social media accounts, so that more people can read this and learn how to do this.
Thanks a lot for your time.