How To Build Trust In A Relationship ~ Relationship Issues.
In a relationship, love is the basis for the beginning of a relationship between two people, but trust represents the glue that unites them.
Trust is based on a concrete and explicit agreement on what both partners expect of each other.
When a new couple forms, the partners establish a contract on what is lawful and not lawful, especially about the relationships to be kept with others outside the relationship.
How To Build Trust In A Relationship
Trust must be granted unconditionally to develop, and both partners can feel safe and live the relationship peacefully.
Each person is trustworthy and must have the opportunity to define specific rules to the other according to his needs and give confidence and commit to respect the other with the requests received in mind.
There are many types of agreements that can be created as a basis for a relationship, but what couples have in common is the fact that both members of it agree on what boundaries to respect and what it means to cheat on (e.g. emotionally and sexually closed couples, sexually open couples).
As long as they both respect the agreements and remain within the contract, the couple is stable, and no one suffers from it.
If circumstances change and one feels the need to change the couple agreement, he must renegotiate honestly and openly by acting as spokesman for his changing needs; otherwise, the report will not agree under significant threat.
Sometimes some people, for fear that their needs are missed by the partner or because of communication difficulties, choose to meet these needs secretly, without any comparison, to the detriment of the other passing through the most straightforward way: betrayal.
How can we negotiate an agreement healthily without undermining confidence?
Be open about your expectations: when starting a new relationship, each partner tends to look only at the similarities of views and values and to put differences in the background.
However, it is essential when it is clear what lies ahead of us and not to assume that we are understood or have the exact needs.
The partner cannot know what we expect from the new report unless we talk about it clearly before the first misunderstandings arise.
To build trust, you need to specify your hopes about the relationship, the expectations you have towards your partner, what you want to receive and what you don’t like.
Talk about your reservations: it is not enough to believe that love solved everything and is enough to keep a relationship alive over the years, but it is necessary to express one’s doubts about behaviours also referring to past relationships to what did not work and what we wanted but did not achieve in the past.
It is neither healthy nor valuable to hide one’s doubts because they will stili undermine the relationship of trust.
Instead, it is more helpful to talk about disappointing expectations and try to put the other in a position to see and work to meet us.
Show yourself vulnerable- opening up to someone else can be scary, especially for those injured in previous reports. Starting a relationship without talking about one’s fears and fragility means creating a relationship that already disavows in terms of psychological intimacy.
Those who have been injured to protect themselves risk closing themselves too much and not feeling caught by the other.
A partner is not a magician capable of making readings of mind and in front of the closure responds with just as much closure: this is not a reasonable basis for a lasting relationship.
Valid trust comes from revealing one’s vulnerability so that the new partner can treat you with respect and delicacy.
Keep your privacy and grant that of others. Everyone has the right to their privacy; trust does not require sharing every little detail about the relationships of the past and the meetings we have had.
It is enough for everyone to tell their previous reports what it takes to declare what they have learned and what they need now. It is unnecessary, because of one’s insecurity and mistrust, to exert pressure and investigate excessively the past of others.
Everyone has their adequate history and has the right to keep it for themselves as a memory of life.
Be reliable: the world is full of attractive people differently; a reliable partner is a person who honours the contract of his relationship and is committed to doing his best to respect the other.
Communicate: love is a spontaneous feeling, while trust requires reflection, comparison and discussion to know what the other desires, thinks and lives in the relationship.
For any love relationship to grow deeply, there must be trust: we need it but also our partner.
All the love of the world does not make up for its lack. When a couple has confidence and love, the relationship becomes mature and prosperous.
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