Love Is Not Enough
Love is not enough to maintain relationships and marriages. Along with love, there are many things that are necessary for a healthy relationship.
Lots of people are busy having affairs. Couples increasingly prefer cohabitation to marriage, they avoid commitment. They consider commitment as some type of disease. The divorce rate continues to go high and is more than 54% as of now.
Still, people have more interest in getting into a relationship than anything else. Most of the people think that marriage is an essential part of being happy in life. Most people depend on their partner for a healthy mental status, however, after a certain period, they get bored, and being close to their partners also doesnt work for them.
People always consider love to be enough for a happy relationship or marriage. But reality differs. And when their marriage or relationship doesnt work, they hardly remember what brought them together in the first place.
Basics, Where It goes Wrong
If we talk about the basics, then, proper financial management is required for most couples. Believe it or not, Money plays the number one role in any conflict in marriages and relationships. Sex comes second.
Tensions severely affect kids during any conflict or fights between partners/couples. A kid will always withdraw from his/her father when he is fighting with their mother.
Research shows that in the first 3 years after the birth of a first child, more than 65% of couples distant from each other. Surprisingly, it first happens in the female partner followed by the male.
Handling conflict is not easy and most of the people handle it poorly, to make things much worse. I am sorry seems to be the most difficult and impossible sentence to utter, during a conflict and thereafter.
Read, How To Handle Conflicts
Infidelity counts. Once it happens. The other partner has to decide firmly. They need to decide if they will forgive their partner or not. You cant choose the middle way. In fact, there is no middle way for this. Once you are forgiving them, do it wholeheartedly, and if you cant then move on. While forgiveness has to be earned, it cant be done cheaply also. Forgiving too cheaply makes people using the experience to do it more.
While forgiving or not is entirely a personal decision. Remember not forgiving is too bad for you. If you dont forgive you are producing poison for yourself. I am not asking to forgive and stay with them. You can forgive and kick out that person forever from your life.
The offender hardly pays attention to the pain they have caused to their partner resulting in unhappiness and trauma in the relationship.
Physical abuse might look a relationship problem but, this is a self-regulation problem,
Please Check Some Great Quotes Of Bob Marley
Physical abuse is not a relationship problem, its a self-regulation problem. Abusers dont feel shame for what they do. They have an internal punishment system, which is not controlled by them. When a normal person violates an attachment bond, they will feel self hate and will be ashamed. But abusers lack compassion for themselves.
When the wish of loving someone becomes bigger than the wish of being loved, that is the moment when we become an adult. And soon we start killing this love. The way we treat our parents, the way we handle negative feelings, the way we treat a beggar, or a homeless person. All this helps to get love killed in our character and then soon we dont even recognize love and dont appreciate it. This continues and this is the same way how we treat our partners in a relationship or marriage also.
People dont believe in commitments anymore. Couples are not sure if they have been chosen by heart or have been chosen as an option. And very soon, one of them comes up saying, Im not sure if I really want to continue with you or not. People dont address and resolve this issue, and thats why the same happens in their next relationship also.
People look for opportunity and growth. And that makes sure that love is not forever. Relationships and good marriages are rare. It feels so good to see a happy couple who have been together for a long time. It needs efforts from both the partners to make that type of marriage and relationship. People need a mature brain and not a mature age to act sensibly.
And once you are sensible everything falls in the right place. Be it marriage or relationship.