Known Truths – You Might Need To Learn Again About Love
When we come on earth, nobody teaches us how to love or what is love?
Yet, we are prone to love by birth. We start learning love from our parents and family members, just by seeing and hearing them.
This crucial stage of knowing and learning love plays a crucial role, later on, when we start loving someone and go into a relationship.
Whatever we learn while growing up, determines a lot about how we will take love and relationships at a later stage.
And once we are at that stage, we learn by our mistakes, experiences, and lessons learned at that stage.
Like any other subject, and the process of learning, some of the lessons stick right away in your mind, and some need a little brush up here and there.
Lots depend on the person also, who is learning the lessons of love. Some won’t need to be told twice while; some will go through the same circle again and again for the same result only to understand and accept that it won’t give any different results.
Few of us learn the basics of healthy love after a few failed attempts. Few people take longer to learn and few of us never learn.
Some unhealthy habits picked by people from movies, social media, internet make it tough to learn the right lessons of love. Anxious ways of attachment, preconceived ideas, and romantic novels also play an important role to make the learning difficult.
And yes, admit it or not, pop culture also affects our behavior in relationships.
Here are some lessons, I took a long to learn and if you have also the same issues, please continue reading.
Healthy Love Is Actually Boring
In case you like the highs and lows (found easily in most of the relationships), the insecure attachment styles, the feelings of a roller-coaster in love, you may remember this lesson at first, but the reality is that healthy love is absolutely boring.
Healthy love gives you a sense of security. It will make you feel that there is someone, who can always count on. And yes, that “someone”, will count on you.
So, in healthy love, you won’t have that excitement and thrills of chasing a partner, who is never available for you. And this might make you feel that you are missing something in your relationship. And let me confirm you, you are spot on!
Yes, you are missing so many things. Lots of things are missing; a high pitch senseless drama, uncertainty, doubts, insecurity.
All these and much more have no place in a healthy relationship and you are missing them, making your love boring and dull.
The hurt of not being valued by someone, the pain of being ignored and the feeling of not being loved, the ones you learned, to be with love, are missing.
You don’t have to keep on waiting for their calls, because they do without making you wait for the same.
You don’t get the opportunity to wonder what and how to text them, because you can always tell them anything you feel and want.
Also, Read Why I Refuse To Be Your “Almost Love?”
You don’t get the chance of being misunderstood, because they know and understand you. How boring! Isn’t it?
All these will make you feel, it’s not real love, since you are feeling any excitement, not even the fear of losing them. Because you know, they won’t leave you.
Then you start learning to replace these ‘strong’ feelings with steadier ones, like; friendship, trust, and confidence.
You might need time to settle down with this kind of love, with the new ways of knowing and learning love, especially if you have experienced tragic and dramatic love only. But believe me; it’s worth giving it a try.
You don’t need two roller-coasters to live up with. Your life is already a roller-coaster (like all of ours); let your love be a stable one without any highs and lows.
Love That Lasts Long Takes Time And Efforts
Some people live under the impression that love is effortless. It’s as easy as looking at someone and falling in love with them instantly. And if there is some communication, that’s a bonus.
People think, if they love someone, and they love them back, love will take care of the rest of the things. These people don’t believe in putting efforts and giving time to a relationship, for love to grow.
Later on, they learn the lesson in a hard way.
Real and dedicated efforts are required in a long-lasting relationship or long-lasting love. You put your efforts to understand them and also to make yourself understood by them.
You put efforts to love them always, and not only on their best days. You put efforts to resolve issues and you work together on it. These take time and real love. You can’t pretend, you need to be honest and willing to work on your love.
I used to think the nonappearance of issues flagged genuine love, but, I discovered that mindset just prompts struggle evasion and disdain.
Love is all about realizing how to address your issues, sort them out, and let go of what you are concerned about. And all these take time and effort.
Romance Is Good But Willpower Is More Important To Stay Together
Being romantic in love is always good and that keeps the relationship and love fresh. Having candlelight dinners and going for an evening walks together, hugging and kissing each other keeps love alive and fresh.
But romance alone can’t keep you together. Never forget: staying together is a choice. Choose your partner every day, always put them first.
A Short Memory And A Big Heart Makes Love Long-Lasting
Love doesn’t boast, it doesn’t hurt, it doesn’t humiliate. Love is kind and patient. Love forgives and forgets. And that’s the truth about love.
You can’t keep a record of the wrongs of your partner and keep discussing that with them. That’s not how love works. You can’t drag old things into the present to start a fight.
You Might Like to Read I Will Never Forgive You
Your and their past is past. Things which have already been done, have been asked for forgiveness, have been forgiven, have been buried, can’t be a part of your discussion today.
If anybody is doing that, they are destroying peace. Why will you do that, if you are happy with them at the present time?
Anyone willing for a long-lasting relationship will have to learn how to forgive and forget. Having a short memory and a big heart will always help them to make a beautiful relationship.
A big heart and short memory make you more loving in the present and respect for the future.
I hope these lessons are learned in an easy and simple way by you and it doesn’t take much of your time to learn.
Put efforts, have a big heart, learn to forgive and you have the love of your life with you.
Don’t run after the highs and lows kind of love, a smoother ride gives you the joy of stability and peace of mind in addition to a wonderful life.