How Long Can One Give Their Heart Away Before It Breaks For Good?
Ever wondered, how many times you give your heart away without getting anything in return and it gets broken again and again?
How many times you have felt like you gave of yourself and got nothing back?
How many times you have felt ignored and pushed away before they leave you for good? How many times you tried to be vulnerable only to get your hopes crushed, by the people, you loved with all your heart and soul?
You might start thinking that maybe you are seeing things incorrectly. You might ask yourself if your belief that you are giving away too much is true or are you not getting what you expect, is right or wrong?
Should you get what you think/expect, or you should be getting things according to some grand plan of life?
There can be two things: Either you are getting nothing or what you are getting is just not enough? Do you feel that what you get is never enough?
Do you think, what you are getting is nothing or what you are getting is just not enough?
Do you feel that you have never got enough from your partner in return for your love or whatever you got in return was just nothing?
Have you always been taken for granted or being ignored “OR” are you really giving too much?
But what if, all these thoughts about giving and not getting are just your imagination? What if the problem is entirely on how you see the world and it is not at all about anyone else?
Look at this aspect: you might be super sensitive to certain things that make it feel like the other person is doing something wrong to you?
There are chances that you tend to see everything with negativity and live in deficit rather than being positive in life.
What if the person you loved, had done their best they could have, and they loved you and accepted you? And you still felt that you didn’t get anything from them?
Did you ever try to see things differently?
Sometimes we are scared of intimacy and being hurt. It doesn’t allow us to open up completely with our partners.
When we prefer being alone and suddenly someone enters our life as a partner, we fail to leave that part of being alone, and unknowingly we continue with the same nature.
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That stops the other person to open up and try to be close to us. This situation doesn’t make a healthy picture for any relationship, since it stops the lives being merged together, as it should have been in a healthy relationship.
If you feel unimportant and neglected by your partner for any reason, you shouldn’t keep that feeling within yourself.
You must speak up, discuss it with them. There might be some valid reasons for them where they failed to make you feel that you are important to them.
But at your end, you will suffer from the feeling of being neglected and ignored. And honestly, because of none of your partner’s fault, they will be held responsible for that.
That’s why instead of suffering one must communicate and make things clear. If it’s not been done, there will always be bitterness and negativity in the relationship that will lead to a breakup only.
Look at the things they do for you, instead of counting things that they don’t do for you. Love is not about to give and take, it’s all about accepting the way things are and giving more from your end. If you do this, you will see a tremendous change in your relationship.
Every Relationship & Everyone Is Different
There will be some people, who love their independence and won’t interfere with yours too, and then there will be some, who would love their freedom but not yours.
Before judging them, you need to ask yourself, what you are looking for, and what exactly makes you happy? You need to act only after knowing things from yourself.
Don’t judge your partner unless you are not sure about yourself. It will create more complications in your relationship.
While it’s great to learn from your past relationships, it’s not always fair to judge someone based on your previous lessons. Unless you see the same pattern you can’t jump to any conclusion.
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Appreciate the good things your partner does for you and try your best to ignore the small things that they forget and you expect.
Lowering your expectations from your partner will make your relationship a healthy relationship.
I am not saying that, if they don’t do anything for you, be happy with that. But, it’s good for the relationship if you overlook small things and be happy with what they are doing for you.
If your partner tries to make you happy, if they are honest to you, treat you well, care for you, and stand for you, you should be happy in your relationship.
And if they are doing all these things and you are still not happy, and feel like you are getting anything in return, you need a serious soul searching.
So, What Does It Mean?
Try to change your perspective, if you are considering ending your relationship because you feel you give more than you get.
Try to look at what is going on from your point of view as well as from your partner’s point of view also.
And after all the assessment if you really see, that yes, you are really not getting anything in return or, you are getting what you deserve, then you must leave.
There is no point in looking into the positive aspects of someone who is abusing you, who doesn’t respect you, doesn’t care for you, and doesn’t stand for you. You don’t even need to see how much you are giving, just leave.
But, at the same time, if you are with someone who gives you their best, you need to decide whether their best is enough for you or not. You will have to decide what you are willing to sacrifice for love.
“Notebook” was terrific, but real life is not “Notebook”. Accept it.
You want someone with a superior character who you can trust and who has plans for a future that includes you.
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To keep them, you should give up someone who is a good communicator and/or good at calling and messaging.
You might say why give up anything? I won’t have to sacrifice. I can find someone who will do all those things for me.
You might be right. But, practically speaking you can have someone like that in movies only, who doesn’t lack anything and has every quality one can think about.
And I personally will prefer someone who makes me feel safe and that is not something I am willing to give up for some things that may or may not exist.
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Self-pity is dangerous and that will never make you happy in life. If you feel that people cross boundaries and that hurts you, in that case, you need to make sure that your boundaries are strong enough.
This way it won’t be crossed easily and you will remain untouched from any hurt. People will hurt you only when you allow them. Be strong and don’t go into wallowing and self-pity.
Sometimes we get lots of things from people but we don’t recognize it, because their way of giving is different from our ways of giving. But, just because of that by no means their offering becomes any less.
We might need to find our voice and express what actually we need and maybe they can give that or maybe they can’t. But only after letting them know, we need to decide if what they can give is enough for us or not.
Sometimes things don’t work. We can love each other and not be right together. But, people can make their relationships work if they are willing to take the time to listen, learn, and understand each other.
We don’t stop after our heart gets broken, so remember that. If your relationship is not working, or you feel that you are getting anything out of it, while giving everything to it, you must move on.
And as I said earlier, you will again fall in love and if you have learned the lessons properly, and implement them in a future relationship, you might have the person; you always wanted to be with.
All The Best And Stay Happy & Safe!