Emotional Infidelity – One of the significant diseases of all time is infidelity.
Sexual contact with a person other than the partner has many consequences, especially when it comes to EMOTIONAL INFIDELITY.
What Is Emotional Infidelity?
Emotional infidelity occurs when one of the couple’s members goes a step further in their external sexual encounters and feelings arise for that third person. The subject inadvertently passes sexual infidelity to emotional infidelity.
Inevitably, repetitive sexual infidelity, with the same person, opens the door to emotional infidelity. In each encounter, the other person is known more and having such a great secret in common creates strange and pleasurable confidence that manages to bring to light the secrets and confessions best kept.
Without looking for it and without even thinking about it, the third person becomes the favourite, the one who understands best, offers well-being and freedom, and there is no need to lie.
All this causes new emotions and feelings to emerge and the subject from a simple infidel to an emotional infidel.
There are cases where sexual contact is not even needed to be considered emotional infidelity. Thanks to social networks, it is effortless to befriend anyone, from anywhere in the world.
You don’t even need to speak the same language because online translators already do it for us. Investing time and energy in knowing virtually one person makes it very easy to move from a simple friendship to emotional infidelity.
There are the emotional infidelities by WhatsApp, by Facebook, by Instagram. I don’t think it’s even necessary to mention the number of dating pages explicitly created for this purpose.
Being glued to the mobile all day, chatting with someone other than the couple and getting excited about their existence, are the first symptoms of an emotional infidel.
Why can a person feel the need to deceive?
Sometimes it just comes up. Desire, environment and mood come together and work together, resulting in sexual infidelity.
At other times the culprits are the desire for revenge, the desire to feel above each other, or feeling of insecurity too present.
The most rebellious are unfaithful because they consider that their partner does not meet their sexual requirements, or they may like to have someone always on hand or feel bored.
The feeling of boredom is often the most commonly used excuse to justify infidelity.
There are also infidels because of childhood trauma. Children often do what they see their parents do. However, they know how to distinguish between good and evil and do not want to repeat their parents’ same mistakes; over the years, they almost always do.
Sexual infidelity produces short but intense moments of happiness, which can lead to addiction and which is more than half of cases destroy the partner.
Others consider it a one-off thing, the result of passing madness and worth forgiving and giving a second chance. For those in the first case, this kind of infidelity is more comfortable to overcome because there are no feelings among lovers.
The deceived finds much earlier the window he needs to breathe fresh air and move on. Emotional infidelity, on the other hand, is much harder to digest.
Knowing that your partner has systematically deceived you with another person and that there are feelings in between causes the deceived to sink into a sea of doubt and/or feelings of guilt.
Detecting an infidel person emotionally is very easy; the patterns of behaviour are usually the same. They begin to show less interest in the couple; communication is non-existent as are sexual encounters and begin to express their need to have a parcel of private life.
If your partner stops doing things that he did before if you spend a lot of time away or otherwise spend time together, but always arguing, you already have in front of a person who can be considered an emotional infidel.
Another sign of emotional infidelity is that your partner no longer cares what’s going on in your life and doesn’t tell you what’s going on in theirs either.
At the same time, he begins to show more interest in his physical appearance, small notes changes in his vocabulary, his tastes also change, and he no longer makes you fulfilled.
On the other hand, some myths about infidelity have nothing base and can serve as a smokescreen. For example, there is a myth that most infidels prefer someone younger.
This is more false than a 3rd bill, but it can mislead the deceived person’s thoughts. If the infidel talks a lot about a young fellow at work, her partner may come to believe that she is the mistress, when in fact the mistress maybe someone who has nothing to do with her work environment or could even be someone of the opposite sex.
Other myths say that whoever had a slip will indeed have another, or that infidelity appears when the couple goes wrong.
All these myths are like a snowball, which the more turns you give it more significant, the more disaster occurs. Because of these myths, some couples separate without any infidelity in between.
Others find it fun to put “the saying” to the test. Others are left with the fear in the body of listening to them and in the face of any small doubt they explode.
Sometimes the emotional infidel doesn’t even know he is. The path to emotional infidelity is full of excuses that the infidel comes to believe them. “I buy new clothes because I need it, I stay late at work because I have to finish the project I’m working on, I smile more than before because I’m happier, I don’t think it’s fair for my partner to feel like I work a lot, I’m looking at my mobile all the time for work,” etc. They’re all excuses for covering up strange behaviour that the emotional infidel still doesn’t recognize.
Can you be faithful and at the same time in love with someone else?
Many people consider themselves faithful because they only have sex with their partner. Still, they do not consider that their heartbeats for another person, the same one that is present in all their fantasies.
And again, thanks to the internet, that person is clicked away. The process to find her is very easy: alike, another like, a comment, another commentary, regular talks that end in flirting and boommm, we already have another infidel emotionally.
What causes infidelities? Is An EMotional Affair Cheating
Lack of feelings, lack of sex? Why do they exist? According to several studies, monotony is the number one cause or the number one excuse for committing infidelity.
Whether we’re talking about an emotional or sexual affair, redundancy seems to be the worst enemy. And instead of diversifying within the couple, excitement, fun and morbidity are sought out of it.
Sometimes they even say they do it post to learn new things that they will then put into practice at home to refresh the relationship.
Another reason for committing infidelity is sexual dissatisfaction. The infidel searches outside the house for what he supposedly doesn’t have inside.
Sometimes these dissatisfactions arise because of friendships and family as a result of talks about couple life. These conversations always start with topics as innocent as emotions and feelings for the couple and end in questions and confessions about the sex life.
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There come curiosities, discontents because “my partner doesn’t do that”, and the typical “I want to try, but I don’t know how to raise it to my partner”. In these cases, avoiding infidelity is as simple as resorting to the fundamental pillar that sustains the couple, sincerity.
By not talking about it, sexual dissatisfaction stays there, latent and can lead to emotional infidelity because the passion and morbidity they encounter in the other person will cause that lost special connection to the partner to arise.
Other more surprising reasons for infidelity include fear of ageing, looking for your inner “I” or simply wanting to feel butterflies in your stomach again.
Some of the feelings that drive a person to be unfaithful are fear of loneliness, the anxiety of running out of financial resources, the panic that separation could affect their image, or rejection by family and friends.
Sometimes it is the society that pushes infidelity. What they will say, the “my friends do too, and nothing happens”, the typical “I can’t part, but I have the right to happiness”, money, status, religion, etc., all these things create significant uncertainty and increase the desire to prove forbidden.
Emotional infidelity is more at hand than a sexual affair, much easier to maintain in the long run without feeling much guilt. It becomes a refuge dangerously for the infidel and torture for the deceived.
Although the infidel may come to believe that his partner notices nothing, that is uncertain. They always see, but most of the time they don’t say it.
The lack of communication shines again by its absence, and thanks to this, there is plenty of room for painful feelings and doubts.
What can the deceived do in the face of such a situation? How to address Emotional Infidelity and most importantly, how to move forward.
Upon discovering infidelity, the desire for revenge exceeds any limit imaginable, and some are sometimes so blinded by anger that they even carry them out.
Still, their vengeance acts are useless because of feelings of guilt, anger, helplessness, and general dissatisfaction prevent them from finding the peace and happiness they need to move forward.
They do not achieve peace and fail to overcome pain and get on with their lives. Revenge is not the answer, and above all, a nail does not pull out another nail.
Feelings aren’t erased overnight, and you can’t forget a person you’ve shared your life within the blink of an eye. Pain and disappointment with the human being made us want to see the other person out of our lives and plunged into misery.
We think that’s the only way justice has been done to us, and life can go on course like nothing else.
To overcome infidelity and continue with a high head, the first thing to do is suppress a little that feeling of hard-headed monogamousness and forget about revenge.
Revenge is not the way to happiness, but it is the path to destruction. Focusing all the attention on sinking the other, apart from being a waste of time, is the perfect way to fill yourself with negative feelings, to transform into another person and to lose everything right around you.
The next step is to assess the situation. Not all cases are the same, and infidelity does not have to end the relationship. If it is punctual infidelity, the consequence of a moment of madness, talking about it as a couple can help and solve the problem.
On the other hand, if the infidel is by nature, likes to conquer, feel desired and is in a constant search for something new, unfortunately, the person in front of him is incompatible with life as a couple.
Forgetting such a betrayal is almost impossible, but it is imperative to forgive. Forgiveness is not forgetting, and it is not hiding the feelings that one has.
We have to talk about it, externalize feelings and most importantly, not lose the relationship with oneself. It would help if you never forgot the real value inside, never blame yourself for what happened, you have to eliminate all thoughts that can undermine morality and not fall into a depression.
Life does not end with infidelity; we must face the situation, solve it in the best possible way and move forward. And the secret to moving on without carrying any ballast and no guilt is forgiveness.
Forgiveness serves to heal both the soul of the deceived and that of the infidel. Often, we don’t want to think about each other, but it is proven that most of the time and because of the great feeling of guilt, the infidel goes through acute depressions and even thoughts of suicide.
And now you’re going to say, what do I care? To find inner peace, the decision must be made to forgive and face experienced feelings.
Forgiveness takes time; it is not something that can be done overnight. Regardless of whether the relationship goes on or not, it is necessary to accept the attempts of the person who was unfaithful to be forgiven.
Forgiveness requires patience. Patience with the infidel, patience with the environment and patience with oneself to accept all the feelings that strike hard.
The moment you stop asking questions, or when you ask the answers, forgiveness is already there. The way to live with what has happened has already been found, and the hope that someone who can erase the past’s painful events will no longer make sense.
Forgiveness always arrives, but it would greatly help the collaboration of the infidel for it to come as soon as possible. That he is sincere, that he does not hide his feelings, and that he dares to face the consequences of his actions would help immensely and speed healing.
For him to do so, he needs to be shown calm, confidence, he needs to know that he will be heard without his adultery being put in his face every 2 minutes and that the person in front of him will try to put himself in his place to understand better the motives that have pushed him to commit infidelity.
It is essential to do all this to move towards the state of forgiveness. It isn’t easy, but at the same time, very important.
After infidelity and even more so if it is emotional infidelity, both the infidel and the deceived learn things useful for their future. One of them is the importance of communication.
If you think about it, it’s the real key to success. We all change and evolve, and when we are in a relationship, it is essential to include and involve our partner in the process.
Tastes change, ideas change, everything changes and transforms, and as long as our partner is not Rappel, they have no way of knowing the changes that happen in our lives unless we tell them.
Often, we hide from the couple to avoid their reaction or because they will not like what we have to say to them. Error! As a couple, you have to talk about everything, debate, listen and find a middle ground.
Hiding what one thinks to avoid a hard time is the way to a big storm. You have to talk about everything, and if the other side doesn’t like it, you don’t like it. And if he gets angry, he’ll get over it, but you have to talk about it.
It’s the only way to avoid significant evils, and over time you’ll both learn to play any subject without screaming or anger. Just talk, listen and vice versa.
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After infidelity, you learn not to judge without the knowledge of cause and without knowing both versions. Before cheating comes to one’s life, understanding such treason considering lightly means that, instead of thinking coldly to give the best advice, we unload all anger against the other.
Without knowing their version of the facts, we have already labelled him guilty. The best thing about learning not to judge lightly is that the lesson will be applied in all aspects of life.
And the best lesson of all is to learn to take on each other’s skin. You can never know what you think and above all, how the person next to you feels until we put ourselves in their place.
Imagine what it’s like to have a partner like you, who think the other when you take care of him, kiss him, tease him, tell him things about his mother, etc., helps to get an idea of the emotions and feelings that the other feels inside and the mood you provoke him.
It is the best thing that can be done to understand the other, detect problems or deficiencies and talk about the topic to solve them.
To get to know someone “better than the mother who gives birth to him” you have to put yourself in his place and see things from his perspective.
Behind infidelity is more than a sneaky sexual encounter. There are feelings, experiences, fears, learning, and, above all, a lot of guilt.
Does it make up for being unfaithful? No!
Can infidelity be forgiven? Yes!
Can anyone who has been unfaithful be trusted again? Yes!
If you’re surprised by my last answer or disagree with it, remember to take on each other’s shoes, assess the situation coldly, and work harder to find forgiveness.
And as a motto,
The greatest enemy of emotional infidelity is communication!