Dealing With The End Of A Relationship ~ Follow These Ways To Cope Up
When a meaningful relationship or marriage ends, it is never easy.
Whatever the reason for the breakup, beyond the fact that the decision to close the relationship is ours or that of the partner, always comes to terms with painful feelings and important life changes.
In these situations, we can overcome several things to overcome this difficult time and grow as stronger and wisest people.
Although we can recognize that that relationship was no longer good, it had worn out hopelessly.
The end of a relationship is painful because it makes us deal with the loss of the relationship and the dreams and projects we shared with the partner.
All romantic relationships begin with excitement and hope for the future, and when they fail, we experience deep disappointment, stress, and pain.
This happens especially after a medium-long period in which we experienced a dual and symbiotic dimension, in which our habits changed according to the presence of the other.
The breakup catapults us into a completely new situation, into uncharted territory, that of singleness.
Everything is interrupted: the routine changes and our responsibilities towards managing the house, relations with family and friends are different and our own identity.
The end of a relationship brings with it uncertainty for the future. The questions that can commonly go through our heads are: What will become of my life without him/her?
Will, I ever find a high person to tune in to, to whom I can still trust? Will I be alone, alone?
These unknowns seem to appear worse than continuing to experience an unhappy and/or conflictual relationship.
The healing process after the end of a relationship, after separation or divorce, is difficult. However, it is important to remind ourselves that we can, and must, move forward. Recovery takes time: be patient with yourself.
Dealing With The End Of A Relationship – Follow These Steps
1. Learn to accept that you can deal with different feelings:
It is normal to feel sad, angry and exhausted, frustrated, and confused. These feelings can be quite intense and opposite. You may feel anxious about the unknowns about the future.
We must accept that our reactions of distrust and closure towards others and the conflicting emotions we feel will diminish over time.
Although we can rationally assess that our relationship, our marriage, was unhealthy, venturing into the unknown and dealing with change is scary.
2. Take a break:
Give yourself permission to feel and function differently and reduced for a certain period.
You may temporarily not work at the pace you’re used to and have a drop in productivity, and have a lower propensity to take care of others.
You are not supermen or superwomen; take time to heal, reorganize, regenerate, recover your energies.
3. Face this period with the help of someone, not alone.
It would be best if you shared your feelings with friends and family.
Throw out your emotions to trusted people who can understand you without being told what to do, how you need to react, and how long. Let yourself be helped by simply listening.
For example, you can consider support groups and self-help groups to share your experience with others going through such a situation.
Isolating yourself is not a good idea as it leads to reduced concentration and increased stress levels, at work, in relationships, and on your health in general.
Don’t be afraid to ask for outside professional help if you need it, and think your social network can’t give you the uncritical support you need.
4. Grieve also for your loss.
Pain is a natural reaction to breaking a love bond because it touches on more aspects of our person:
Loss of company and shared experiences (beyond whether they have always been pleasant or not);
Loss of support: emotional, financial, intellectual, social;
Loss of hope, projects, and dreams: emotional losses, even more pain than the loss of particulate aspects.
It would be best if you were not afraid to make contact with the pain of these losses by imagining that it will be too intense to bear and that it may block you in a permanent depressive state.
Remember that the pain of mourning at the end of a relationship is essential to the healing process and will help you let go of the old relationship and move forward.
Do not fight or block your feelings to avoid suffering. It is normal to have days and periods of high and low mood in which emotions will be mixed: anger, resentment, sadness, relief, fear, and confusion.
No matter how strong the pain is, it won’t last forever unless you repress it by denying it. If you try to suppress what you hear right now or ignore it, you will prolong this grieving process for too long.
Talk about how you feel about people who inspire you to trust without dwelling on a hyper analysis of the situation.
Keep in mind that there is a big difference between the normal emotional reaction resulting from a relationship and depression breakdown.
Sadness can be crippling at first, but you will feel better after a while and start thinking about the future again. However, if the situation persists for too long and prevents you from taking a step forward with your life, you feel trapped and hopeless.
It is appropriate to contact a professional who will help you start living again. Do not hurt yourself in sticking to the past relationship through pain: try to go further with your strength or professional help if you feel difficulty.
Get in touch with others for support through the grieving process. The support of others is crucial for healing because you may feel particularly lonely and struggling to retake the ranks of your social life.
Surround yourself with people who can listen to you and are positive, with whom you feel free and honest in telling what you are facing without having to worry about being judged, criticized, or telling you what to do.
If you feel that being as a couple, you have neglected your social network, or as a result of the breakup, you have been left alone recovering old contacts and cultivating new friendships.
Strive to meet new people by participating in specific interest groups: sports, reading or religious groups, voluntary or cultural associations, enroll in training or refresher courses.
A separation, divorce is stressful, life-changing events. When you go under emotional stress due to important life changes, you have to take care of it sick.
Take care of yourself before returning to make important choices for your future.
It is good not to make crucial decisions in an altered emotional state where the mind is certainly not lucid. Avoid changing homes, jobs, or cities.
Postpone your life choices to another time and in the meantime, allow yourself time every day to love yourself and feed yourself by planning activities that help you regain your composure.
Your healing also passes through small regenerating activities such as going for a walk in nature, listening to music, treating yourself to a hot bath, a massage, reading a favorite book, doing yoga classes, or enjoying a hot cup of tea.
Pay attention to what you need and allow yourself to say “no” without feeling guilty or distressed if you deny yourself something that you do not feel right for you at a given moment.
You will resume the rhythms of life to which you were accustomed afterward when you are healed.
Stick to a routine and avoid using alcohol, drugs, medication, or food to cope with your discomfort.
When you feel “broken inside,” you may be tempted to use remedies and easy to get better and relieve pain and a sense of loneliness, but these are unhealthy and destructive escape routes from pain in the long run.
Make healthy choices to cope with your painful feelings: eat well, sleep well, exercise, explore new interests and activities, prefer fun situations that give you pleasure in the here-and-hour rather than continuing to linger and brood about the past.
The high stress could lead you out of the way, choose not to eat at all or eat too much junk food, sleep too much to escape confrontation with people who care about you or yourself.
Try to learn something from the end of your relationship or marriage.
Consider this period as a time-out, as a phase to understand what you want for your life, what characteristics you have so far searched for in a partner, and whether in the future, after the experience you have had, you want more from a partner.
To fully accept a break and move forward, it is necessary to understand what happened, what dynamics have taken place between you and the other, and what role you have played.
It is important to understand how your choices and attitudes have influenced the progress of the relationship. Learning from one’s mistakes is the key not to repeat them.
Some questions you can ask yourself at the end of a relationship, looking back, are:
How did I contribute to the couple crisis?
Do I tend to repeat the same mistakes or choose a person with similar characteristics?
How do I deal with a couple of conflicts? How do I react when something goes wrong with my partner? Could I act more constructively under stress?
Am I able to accept a partner as it is rather than as I would like it to be or expect it to be?
Am I able to communicate my negative feelings when I have a problem with my partner?
Do I express my needs as a couple, or do I wait for the other to guess them? When I remain dissatisfied, do I ask the partner in an adult way what I expect from him/her, or do I put it back?
Do I control my feelings, or am I at the mercy of them?
Answering these questions implies the ability, to be honest with yourself. Try not to dwell on looking for a culprit.
Suppose you can objectively examine your relational behaviors, the reasons why you chose your former partner, and you will be able to understand what did not work, your share of responsibility.
In that case, you will have in your hand a good awareness of you to use in the next effective relationship.